I wrote this almost 5 years ago and still is true:
“As I sit on the plane riding home, I can’t help but reflect on how awesome my life is. I’ve just left the most amazing parents a woman could have been raised by, heading to a man, a family that loves and values me. The family God chose for me. Some say that many people could be suitable for a person, however, I dispute that statement. Having tried and failed at establishing relationships with men who had character, who were believers. . . The chemistry just wasn’t there. I believe with all my heart there was one for me; he balances me and I him. Without each other, life would be out of balance and we’d still be searching – incomplete, yearning. After all, God took one rib not two or three and when we try to fit where we don’t belong, it is an arduous and painful connection.
Oh if we would only wait and move when the Spirit says move…having resolved to be content in my singleness, God moved because of my heart and faithfulness at that time…when we wait for that ‘ah ha, this is it’ or ‘ah ha, could this be it’ the moment that sense of real belonging occurs. I sensed that. . .and perhaps I was deluding myself but I think not. It did not come without some sense of fear or uncertainty, nonetheless approached with my whole heart knowing this is why I was created. The road has not been smooth nor without gut wrenching, heart breaking moments, but with knowing comes the ability to persevere. We pressed on any how.
Whether others express value and appreciation in me or not, I will press forward giving all I have to give until there is nothing left to give. Laughing, loving, sharing, caring, pouring. You see it’s not all of my accomplishments that make up who I am, rather it is that human & spirit part of me that is recognized by others as that reflection of the Savior whom I love and serve. . .the one I choose to mirror. Let it be said of me that I live and love as Christ did when He created the heavens & earth, the way He did when He walked the earth, and when He ascended back into eternity. He walked fully knowing His purpose.
May I (from this day forward) live in health, knowledge, purpose, passion and understanding. . .no regrets, only joy. Not looking back but pressing forward. Not forgetting the past, but no longer crippled by it – it cannot hold me down any longer…it is a weight unworthy of my future. (I strip it off and press forward). Yet that weight was instrumental in fulfilling who I am – a woman clothed in strength, power, passion, purpose and love.
Praise be to God, The Lord Jesus Christ who is my Savior, and the precious Holy Spirit all around and indwelling.
December 17, 2012
Delta Flight 1655, Atlanta to Los Angeles”